The cost of “Yes” often

One asked if I was still working with the therapist at the latest post, and the answer was yes. This post from one of that mental work was and what I learned. (Still in the reading system.) I wish I said I had read this lesson in the morning, but the fact that I had to read it in a difficult way. In the same way I do many things, I know.

For me, “yes” it was easy every time “no” when it came to my children. Maybe because I lifted the house full of poor and accepted care, in life that already “no” they didn’t answer. Perhaps it was because it was deep, I wanted to do some years when they were insufficient. Or maybe, if I’m cruelly honest, it was because now, “Yes” felt like love. Or maybe it was the result of growth feel like I was from the wrong side of the tracks in the most wealthy city of town.

But the love that purchased on the credit card came with interest – financially and emotionally.

Slight Substance

It started with little things:

• Taking dinner because I was tired or never felt confident about my cooking skills.

• Giving gas money, developing the phone, or just because you are in handling.

Each thing, only, seemed harmless. I told myself, It’s only $ 40. It’s only $ 100. But for many children, those “zests” occurred several times a month or week, and my money suddenly disappeared and I might wonder why I’m so stressed.

A great hit

The little spears were poor enough. The great beggars were the ones knocking on track.

I was known to have my budget completely because I didn’t want my children to feel “less” – even if it meant to swing my credit card and tell them later. “

It wasn’t turning off; It was almost true that they never felt abandoned. But all those who even add quickly. My credit card balance grew, and the goals that I was talking about or thought they were renewed back. I told myself that I gave them memories, but I provided them with many months of catching money.

Then there is a trip. Anyone who has learned here is bad to know my love of travel. Yes for extra money to spend money so that the feelings are left when friends go out. Yes in the things I cannot afford because I wanted to feel supported.

Why say yes feel you pretty much (and be dangerous)

There was always a little chase when I helped one of my children. I have to be a hero, a safety net, someone who makes life easier. But that quickly faster. What was left? A simple bank account and a long list of estimated financial purposes.

Sometimes, “yes” my “appeared in the case. My children did not find native childhood I wish they had – no father in the picture, the history of trauma, joined our family later, after getting lost. I have won the givestock. But generosity without limits was not at all – it was to avoid being dressed as kindness.

What I wish I could see

1. My budget is needed to account for my Yes. Giving should be planned, not robbing.

2. Yeah of course were often good for me. The dollars I offered was not a retired, my emergency bag, or my firmness. For me, I saw this. But I too had this problem. And this is great for me. This is probably the greatest obstacle I face in my Mindset money. One I have a long way to go.

3. I can say no without a bad mother. In fact, sometimes “no” would be a better lesson. Yes … But … Thank you, this even my children noticed now made it easy for me to face me.

Assessment

Now my little one is 20 and two old who fallen in the mid-20s, every financial representative. So I did some things.

But I see that yes, I did not lose me, and they called me progress. They have delayed my power to continue, rebuild saving, and find peace of mind.

Looking back, I realize that love is not measured in dollars. Measured in boundaries, too. And your children will still love you if you can or will not give certain things. In fact, perhaps they will not miss it. And the very loving thing he made in the near future was to defend my financing.

I need to enter another side note here. I hope you will learn so far. But “Yes” I Prences this time, not yes to my children asking. I mean. But most of them is yes of my children’s wishes. I made decisions. I threw things. This post is not intended to make it appear that my children are asked and I just said yes. Most of all my financial failure made me make up inequality, not to reply. I chose all food instead of food. I chose the entire trip. I chose to pay for children xyz. I don’t have to learn to say no to my children. I had to learn not to say to me. Quitting insight if I could or didn’t do this, that or some of my children.

The post office costs “Yes” often appear in the first time in brightness of credit.